After a very brief 'previously...' segment and a similarly brief Mystery of the Week in the form of a detonating miner we're back in a dingy basement with John and Chas. The debate as to whether Constantine actually smokes or not continues as he carries around a lit cig with him for a while before Chas puts it out without it ever getting near his lips.

Following on from last week we get introduced properly to Zed, who appears to be some kind of psychic that has been compulsively drawing pictures of John. Comic fans should be pleased to see re-imaginings of classic Hellblazer covers around the room. I know I was.

Their initial meeting doesn't exactly go well with both of them pulling parlour tricks and John pulling a disappearing acte before entering full on...

Thankfully I do not appear to be a psychopath.

Henry is called to investigate a package seeping blood onto Det Martinez's partner's desk (more of him later), it's a human heart, expertly removed, while the victim was alive.

The victim and circumstances to her death are basically a copycat Jack the Ripper killing, with Henry having a strong suspicion that his long-lived nemesis Adam is Jack, and is now starting again. 

When he finally gets his hands on the body, he is amazed at the accuracy of the wounds in comparison to the Whitechapel murders, which he would know since he examined the final body back in the 19th century.

It's a good attempt at murder replication, but not perfect, Henry finds a clue from one of the tools used on the body, and an...

I had NO expectations, NONE.

The only thing I know about this film was that my little 'un wanted to go and see it because she'd seen it advertised on a kids meal box.

I didn't know if it would be a "genre" film, what it was about or who was in it. I had a vague inkling that it had a guy in a sombrero. 

Presented with a couple of hours to kill, I'm pursuaded to the cinema, so I thought I'd better get an inkling if it was suitable. With failing internet signal on the phone, I glean two things.

"U" certificate.

Animated musical comedy. 

Great. Unknown Disney-lite competitor, a couple of insipid songs and a "True-Loves-Kiss" ending. 

Two hours of formulaic mawkishness here we come. 

The animators at Disney will be...

This one was a test . Literally.

It’s a given that this series is not trying to amp up the Sci-Fi elements, which is a shame because that’s where some of its best strengths lie. Oh, and it’s also the reason that I’m listening to it. 

This week,the geekiness is scaled down and use only as a framer for what is essentially a rather dull plot around Lucy passing her “A” levels. 

After being warned by the Alexander parents that Lucy is wasting too much time on the Resistance, Katrina resolves to get Lucy through her exams.Since formal education is impossible through the usual channels, it’s off to Uljabaan to beg for resources. He’s contemptuous of this, A challenge ensues,and the rest of the episode is really thrown away as a series of clearly unsuitable...

Captain Kirk had it easy.

Every other week, a newly found ancient civilisation being run by a God-like mysterious force that turned out to be an advanced computer. 

One quick mind-meld later and a bit of gobbledygook from Kirk (broken gobbledygook, delivered to. The Computer..with. Punctua...tion. In.Lots of.Strange. Places), and the machine would have a silicon meltdown, and it would be back to the Enterprise for the Captain in time for a tribble sandwich and a quick round of sexually harassing the female members of the crew.

But that was a simpler time, and we all know with experience that feeding garbage into a computer won't make it blow up, but it will probably get you into a fight on an a website comments section.

But what if your computer is a...

We're not messing about this week.

It's bonkers central!

Everyone seems to be stressed, afraid, cracking up, psychotic, flying off the handle or looking forward to genocide, and all in the first few minutes !

We start with a Navy wedding dinner, which ends up with corpses aplenty, covered in same substance that the Obelisk transforms people into.

This is a HYDRA experiment on the way to weaponising the mysterious alien artefact for nefarious purposes. Well I'm assuming it's nefarious purposes, maybe they're working on a massive sculpture and thought they'd just turn everyone to stone to save on artist wages. 

The opening of the episode is really a red herring, or possibly a dead herring considering the body count. This week is more about the...

Welcome back to the 80's.

The 1880's. 

And, strangely the 1980's.

Both of these decades are mentioned in this episode, one as cover (the 1980's) for Henry to mask that he's talking about the other. 

This episode sees a body discovered in an old apartment that's due for sale, the body, partly eaten by rats has a hypodermic needle in one arm, and a gash to the head. The assumption is that he's an "ADJ" or Another Dead Junkie.  This contemptuous attitude of the investigating officer offends Henry and brings back memories of 1880, when the same buildings had 400 deaths due to a heat wave. 

It transpires that the victim is a boxer and reformed junkie, who's been at odds with a local property developer, the needle was administered after...

This one might make you have a little doubt next time you ask or get asked to get a loyalty card stamped.

In this case the loyalty card in question is to the alien invaders, with a stamp on the card for collaborating obtained by ratting on the resistance who have kidnapped one of the minions and are holding it in a shed on the park.

That's going to make a few people think twice when they ask for a stamp after ordering their , Skinny-Decaf-Grande-Frappachino.

To be fair though, it's not as if regularly ordering a coffee from a specific organization is pledging your allegiance to an evil globe-spanning institution hell-bent on controlling us all...

In this case the collaborator in question had built up enough stamps to be able to ask for whatever they want...

Off we go again to the Village of Cresden Green, the beachhead for the Geonin invasion.

This week we are revolving around the impending village Fete, with threats, violence, cake, impending doom and a guitar.

Uljabaan observes that people cooped up inside the force-field around the village are going to be blowing seemingly small things out of proportion. However it is clear that no...

Flying cars, superheroes, gods, invisible Sky-borne aircraft carriers.  Agents Of SHIELD often skirts the fantastic, stretching the boundaries of the possible to breaking point. Within minutes of this episode, the boundaries are broken, jumped on and set fire to.

It is the mundane that fails it here...

Arch-Dick Lance Hunter is schmoozing a female mark on the beachfront,...